so it goes..

attempting to complete my MFA in theatre performance, weather the midwest winter, stay sane, keep an outside life & have adventures.

I’m back! And I am very happy everyone was patient with me through this my absence. I don’t even know how to begin to describe my life in the past months—except that it took a lot of hard work to be where I’m at now.

Sometimes I find myself thinking, how did I get here?

Firstly, lots of wine. Then travel, old friends. Family. Skipping down the streets of Burbank. Infinity pools and hot-tubs (see above). Mexican food. Late nights. Letting myself fully indulge in my good moods when they came along, and, lo and behold, they started coming around more often once I did. Acting like a kid and enjoying it. Crying when I needed to. Stupid TV. Lots of Eastern philosophy ‘good vibes’ reading.  (You know, self-acceptance, forgiveness, perspective.. Don’t knock it, it comes along when you need it.) Purging my belongings. Finding an apartment that I love & making it my home. Learning how to be my own friend. Faith.

And mostly, here’s my key word here: lots of grace. Lots and lots of grace.  

Not that things still aren’t hard, or that I’m in a perpetual state of moving forward, or that I never miss him, or wish things were different—but I am very proud of who I am becoming, and how my perspective on this experience has changed. I’m surviving and am convinced that I’m learning to live a healthier, more self-fulfilled lifestyle.  

I just read this post from withoutmelissa and she couldn’t have summed up what I’m learning more eloquently. I’m in my year of figuring out who I am, as she puts it, and I’m very okay being here.